MENTAL HEALTH

I’m Never Going to Write a Book

Going back in time could destroy me.

Photo by Susan Wilkinson on Unsplash

Over the past few years, a lot of folks have told me I should write a book. They have said this book could help other survivors of trauma or others who live with mental health issues. And I have considered it.

The problem for me is what could happen if I begin going back in time. If I think too long about everything I’ve survived. I can write about all of that in fits and starts on Medium, but spending hours a day focused only on the pain and the darkness might destroy me.

I realize that sounds dramatic, so let me explain. During the lawsuit against Children’s Theatre, I was forced to reopen wounds I never wanted to open. I began having flashbacks, nightmares, and panic attacks, and my depression was at an all-time high. I have still not fully recovered from the experience.

Why I Wish I Had Never Sued Children’s Theatre

Writing a book about my life would be as awful, or worse. I would need to really dig into my memories, type them out, edit them, rewrite things if necessary, then read the…