My Depression Crept In On Little Cat Feet
Apologies to Carl Sandburg.
Living with chronic depression is challenging, especially when, without notice, it creeps into your head on little cat feet. Silently, without warning, depression takes over your day, week, or longer.
Today is that day. I didn’t sleep well and woke up with the feeling of a weight on my chest. I’m very low energy but somehow managed a 20-minute workout because I thought it would make me feel better. It didn’t.
I took my Lexapro, I’ve had something to eat, I washed my face, and got dressed. I made the bed. And that’s about all I can manage.
Here’s the thing about my depression: It doesn’t need a reason. My neural pathways were screwed up by early trauma, and shit that wouldn’t affect other people triggers days like today. I have no idea why today is happening, I really don’t. It just is.
So into the self-care box I go. I remind myself to eat and drink lots of water. I will watch Markiplier collabs with Bob, Jack, and Wade, and zefrank1 videos about nature and animals that are so funny they make me cry. Maybe a cooking show. Read a book.
I’m not ashamed to write about my mental health issues, or that some days, I struggle. I think that by sharing my story, someone else who’s having the same day I am will feel like they’re not alone.
You’re not alone. Depression tries to tell you the opposite, but it’s lying. I promise.
