Donald Trump
You Can Own a Digital Trading Card of Donald Trump!
What rhymes with grifter?
Donald Trump has joined the world of NFTs with his very own digital trading cards. And they are as tacky as a 24K gold-plated toilet.
When you enter the website, you are greeted with a video of Trump introducing himself as “your favorite president” who is better than Lincoln and Washington. Trump goes on to tell you each card comes with a chance to win “amazing” prizes.
Each card is $99. So, for $99, you get a tacky digital trading card of Donald Trump dressed like an Old West sheriff, or an astronaut, or a superhero. You are also entered into a raffle to win things like a dinner with Trump, a Zoom call with Trump, golf at one of his clubs, or signed memorabilia. There’s also a card with Trump riding a virtual elephant that’s been “painted” red, white, and blue.
According to the website, all the artwork on the cards was created by Clark Mitchell:
Award winning illustrator Clark Mitchell designed the beautiful imagery of the Trump Digital Trading Cards. With over 40 years of digital illustration and design, Clark has built a one-of-a-kind career. He has prominent working relationships with brands such as Star Wars, Hasbro, Mattel, Marvel, Time Magazine, Coors, Budweiser, Disney, Corona, and Coca-Cola. His journey has also led him into the sports and entertainment fields designing for the NBA, NFL, MLB, movies, musicians, professional athletes, and much more.
Oh. There’s no refund policy-all sales are final.
If you purchase 45 trading cards, you receive a guaranteed ticket to some horrible dinner at Mar-A-Lago with Trump. For $4,455, you get to eat iceberg lettuce and overcooked steak with Donald Trump at his country club for white, angry old people. Fun!
Donald Trump wants us all to know these make wonderful Christmas gifts. Oh sweet baby Jesus, no they do not. Of course, there are rubes out there who will fall for this grift and put money into Trump’s tiny, greedy hands, but seriously, the cards are terrifying to look at. Trump looks oily in many of them, and his smirk is very disturbing.
Trump is not going to ever be president again, and he knows it. So it’s back to what he does best: conning and lying and scamming. Maybe he will announce that some of the profits are going to a charity he and Don Jr. created five minutes ago.
Why isn’t Trump in prison yet?
Anyway, will you be buying a Donald Trump digital trading card, or will you simply take a $100 bill and set it on fire?
Happy holidays.
